So here's the thing. This pregnancy nausea, at least my brand of it, is weird stuff. I haven't thrown up (thank heavens) and I can still eat anything I want to (just in smaller portions, which is strange to me) and smells still don't bother me too much, but I feel yucky ALL THE TIME. And even more strange is the fact that it's worse when I'm sitting down? I usually feel better if I get up and walk around. What are the odds of THAT? Also, it's not normal nausea. I don't even know how to describe it. It's just a weird, seasick kind of feeling that in no way makes me think of throwing up. It just makes me feel a bit woozy in a different place inside. Wasn't that a helpful description?
This little peanut is looking more human, less alien each time I look up a picture. Apparently it's just starting to get some involuntary muscle twitches and all that jazz. It's still pretty cool to think that I'm growing a person, but also very strange. And of course Matt pointed out that I'm not really actually growing it, it's just sort of taken over my body and I'm simply the host. I definitely feel that way. Here's a picture I found that claims to be an eight week embryo. See? Kinda human! And next week, we'll officially have ourselves a fetus.
So far no weight gain. In fact, I've lost a couple of pounds. I would expect that if I were throwing up but I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale the other day. I'm only supposed to gain about a pound during the first trimester, if that, and I'm eating healthy and the workout plan is still in place so I don't feel like losing a pound or two is a bad thing at this stage in the game.
Big shocker, I'm still exhausted. I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30 the other night after a really tough day at the gym. The devil teacher had us running sprints intermingled with weights and then the AC was out in the spin room so, while I took it easy, it was still brutally hard. Weirdly enough I always have enough energy to finish the workouts and I definitely feel better for doing them. I just come home afterwards and collapse.
I had a little bit of a rough week, emotionally, but the situation that spurred on the emotions probably would have made me emotional sans baby in the belly. I held it together pretty well, all things considered and I was able to control my emotions enough not to go on a name calling, insult ridden tirade - which is what I wanted to do. It's interesting knowing that I'm pregnant but not having other people know, especially in confrontational situations. It's like I'm a ticking time bomb that no one can hear ticking except me - but so far (knock on wood) I've felt I've been pretty good at being rational and logical in slightly rough situations.
Matt felt the first huge emotional mood swing the other night while we were on a walk. I had a sudden melt down having something to do with not feeling supported, which is RIDICULOUS because if you've met my husband, "supportive" is his middle name. I was just having a moment where I was scared and quite frankly, I think I just needed a cry. I got it out and five minutes later I was better. I truly feel sorry for my husband because if it gets worse, he's getting the worst of it and bipolar emotions just aren't something that this calm man understands.
Wednesday we did a healing, restorative yoga class at the gym. Our teacher is fantastic and very in-tune with our emotions and how to help. We were all having rough weeks so she changed her lesson plan to accommodate. We spent most of the hour opening up the heart chakra and I found myself crying several times as I let some of my hurt feelings and angry emotions, as well as some of the fear I've been having regarding this baby, out of my body. It felt amazing. I went home and cried some more and overall I've felt much better since. Yoga? Is freaking awesome.
Four more weeks until I feel comfortable telling the world. It seems like such a long time and the last four weeks seem to have gone soooo slowly, but I feel good about our decision to wait a little bit. Weirdly, I feel like it makes the time seem to go by faster (at least for the OTHER people around) when it's announced a little later. I don't think any of this will go by quickly for me but I'm happy to help other people feel like nine months went by in a blur!
I've started reading stroller and car seat reviews and I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing there as well. I'm already hitting Craig's List and eBay for the great finds. I figure I'll buy one great stroller and one great car seat that will last forever. The stroller I want comes in a plain black and you can buy different covers for all the car seats now so I don't have to worry too much about color on those, so I'm all about gently used as long as it's a brand I know I can trust.
I'm also already scoping out the maternity clothes I eventually want to wear. If I'm anything like my Mom, I won't be showing much until the last trimester. I remember when she was pregnant with my youngest brother she kept having to convince people she really was pregnant. I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It would be nice to show and not just look bloated, know what I mean? However, not looking like a beached whale at six months does sound awesome. If I'm lucky and my butt and hips stay close to the same size, I have a lot of REALLY low cut jeans that might just work for quite a while. I'm not holding my breath, but it's a possibility. I also have the advantage/disadvantage of being pear shaped, which means I usually have to buy pants that are bigger in the waist so they fit my thunder thighs. This means I've got a lot of pants with a few extra inches in the waistline. Also, I've got quite a lot of shirts that are empire waisted or kind of bigger in the belly area, so I might have some clothes that are going to work for a long time. Again, we'll see how that really works out, but I've started scoping out things that will probably work and I think I've got some good stuff. Most importantly, MAXI DRESSES and Half Tees. Going to get me lots and lots of those. Oh, and count on the fact that this girl will be wearing some serious pregnancy Spanx.
SO there you go. It appears my brain just vomited all over the page so congratulations if you're still reading. Me and the embryo appreciate your time and attention.
Kate and Baby out.
