Nine Months on the Outside

How on earth can nine months of pregnancy feel like a century but nine months of life with this little mister have gone by like a day and a half?  I'm in shock over how quickly it's gone and how fast he's growing.

Sawyer is pretty much the most fun baby ever as well as the busiest.  He has been crawling since just after eight months and after two days limited to one room he discovered OTHER PLACES.  It was like his little mind was blown.  He was amazed that there were things behind doors, around corners, up, down and around.  We're always shocked at how fast he moves and in the last few days he's pulling up on anything he can find, racing from one room to the next almost taunting us to come catch him.

He's eating everything.  EVERYTHING.  Some days he cannot shovel food in his face fast enough.  I'm always afraid he's going to throw it all up because there's no way a nine month old has a stomach with that capacity...and yet, he does.  True to his Irish roots, mashed potatoes are a big hit.  True to my strict pregnancy diet of Taco Bell and homemade quesadillas, cheese is also a huge hit.  He eats purees from one of those feeder things as long as it's still in a somewhat frozen form (I make all his food) but he definitely prefers finger food and has perfected his lobster pinch.

He is ALL BOY and, for what I can only assume is a boy reason, he insists on exploring the world with his forehead.  He crawls up to everything and then shoves into whatever he finds head first.  It's HILARIOUS most of the time but also somewhat painful when he decides to explore a wall, the tile or a sharp corner.  We've had our share of bumps and bruises already and I can't imagine there will be a shortage of those in our future.

He is like his Daddy in that he's mellow until he decides not to be.  He saves his laughs for things he thinks are truly hilarious (aka Daddy or the Dog...not Mommy.  Boo) and talks and yells at extremely high volumes but only at moments he chooses.  He's is at least a little like me though because this kid is NOT SHY.  He's a huge flirt and will go to anyone.  I keep waiting for the separation anxiety stage but I think we might skip that almost completely.  He goes to anyone and has recently discovered a good snuggle.  He smiles with his entire body and pretty much never stops.

He and Watson are best friends and worst enemies.  They already fight over toys.  They could be happily playing in their own corners and then one or the other notices the other's toy and then HASTOHAVEITOHMYGOSH.  Usually Watson runs away victorious but I try to step in to make it somewhat "fair" if that's even possible in the world of an infant and a puppy.  We had to throw away all the dog toys Sawyer can't be around as well as most of the baby toys Watson could destroy.  It's like I have twins or something.

A couple of weeks ago Sawyer had his first overnighter without me.  He stayed with my Mom and Grandma at my Mom's vacation home in Hurricane, Utah while I went to Vegas with my besties.  I was, of course, petrified to leave him, but true to form he was amazing.  My Mom said he seemed a little distraught and knew something was different but overall was his happy, charming self.  I hoped I might catch up on sleep but being in a hotel room with my three best friends didn't exactly make for the most sleep inducing environment.  Now that we know he can hack the overnighter, I see more in my future. Maybe for our anniversary coming up at the end of the month?

I always knew I'd love my babies but this kid is something special.  We keeps saying that we'll never get lucky enough to have another baby THIS GOOD so we might just have to stop here.  At the moment I have no hunger for another.  He is my whole heart and soul and I love spending my days with him.  Especially when he naps well (since sleeping at night is out of the question).

Now that we're all caught up, I leave you with the cutest picture ever taken.  I'M SAILING!!

If This Were a Paid Job, I'd Be So Fired

I had this idea that "someday" when I was home with kids that I'd have all this time to write a fantastic blog that everyone would want to read.  I also figured my house would be soooo clean and I'd have a picture perfect dinner on the table every night and serve it in some hot looking outfit with my hair perfectly curled and make-up on.  I'm dying laughing right now.

I'm eighteen months into stay-at-home-dom and eight months into motherhood and I feel like have NO TIME!!  Case in point - this blog is taking me like, four weeks to write.  I'm just barely getting to the point where there are more days in the week where I get dressed in anything other than the exercise clothes I throw on in a foggy stupor as I stumble out the door for the morning walk the dog and baby both expect.  I haven't been to the hair salon in TEN MONTHS.  I'm lucky if I get one small or medium sized chore done every day. I'm usually pretty good about dinner, but not always.  My poor, poor husband.

I'm working to get everyone on a set schedule and that has made a big difference.  Baby may not sleep through the night (another post for another day) but he naps like a rockstar and usually at the same times.  Weekends are hard because we always get off the schedule and then Monday's are work getting back, but it's the only thing I've found that helps me get ANYTHING accomplished.  Sometimes "anything" means lying down to watch an episode of Fringe, other times it's accomplishing a lot of things for a two hour period of time.  It seems like I go every other day where productivity is involved.  One day I sit around like a slug and the next I manage to clean, grocery shop, shower, cook, make the bed and do some laundry.  The day of productivity usually takes me three or four days to recover from and then we're back to the beginning.

Hopefully things continue to go more smoothly so that someday we might even consider adding another baby to the mix.  We originally thought we'd wait the required year and then go for the gusto but that year is quickly approaching and holycrap I can't even think about another baby without having a panic attack.  Mr. S is getting busier by the second and the thought of adding to that just seems like a bad idea.

By way of random catch-up I'm proud to report my spousal unit was recently given a huge promotion at work.  It's exciting for his career and exciting for our bank account  because it turns out that making one income work after so many years of two isn't fun somuch.  Hopefully we'll be able to start saving again and I can get my hair done once in a while without feeling like I need to offer to sell my breastmilk or something.

The boss-man is still an amazingly good baby and there has only been one day that was so hard I wanted to quit.  He smiles and laughs and, for the most part, entertains himself.  He's mostly a Mama's boy but he really loves his Dad and is OBSESSED with Watson.  I'm sure his first word will be Puppy. He already says Mama but with no connection between the sound and me, so I guess I don't really get to count that.  So far, no stranger danger whatsoever and he smiles and coos at everyone he sees.  We took him to Disneyland and that was a HUGE hit (I'll try to write a whole post on that adventure here soon) both with him and everyone who saw him.

He continues to grow like a monster.  At his six month appointment he was 19lbs 15oz and when we went back a month later for his second flu shot he was already 22lbs.  He's still nursing every four hours or so and also eats solid foods three times a day.  So far the ONLY thing I've fed him he's not a huge fan of is green beans.  He wolfs everything else down and in addition to the pureed stuff I make him he's getting his little pinch down and can eat finger foods as well.  Next week I'm thinking I'll introduce meat...I'm sure he'll be in heaven.

As I mentioned he's still not sleeping through the night and I'm pretty sure he's in the eight/nine month sleep regression that comes with trying to crawl, pull up and the devil of babyhood, teething.  We've had a few particularly hard nights this week and the bragging rights I used to own to never having bags under my eyes have been rudely taken from me and I have begun to look like the walking dead.  In two weeks I have a girl's weekend in Vegas planned and my Mom is watching him for me.  I'm still debating as to whether I'll leave him for one night or two (I'm more worried about me than him, honestly) but either way I'm praying that I get at least one good night's sleep for the first time in what feels like a decade (but is actually a year).

I feel like the update on me personally is mixed in with the other stuff up there.  I do love love love being a Mom and I'm pretty grateful that I get to stay home and witness every moment of this little guy's amazing life. Sometimes I feel like I'm living Groundhog Day and I'm really looking forward to my weekend break but I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else doing anything else.

What Has Become of Me?

My day started out at 5:30 after a mostly sleepless night.  My baby is a morning person.  If he weren't so cute I would punch him for it.  Once I pried my eyes open, I decided to see how S-man liked the shower so we hopped in together and, yay, he totally dug it.  This is good news because now I can shower more!  Woot!  Not that I...didn't..er..wasn't...well...um, yeah.  After our morning walk with Watson we accomplished a huge list of things thanks to the Baby Einstein Jumper and the Baby Bjorn.  I was able to do my price-matching grocery research, clean up some crap (not all the crap, unfortunately.  Like, a corner of crap), vacuum, practice a song for church with one of our friends, do the two and a half hour once a month WalMart trip, play with Watson, take a short cat nap (please let the no napping be a phase!) make dinner, eat dinner, put away all the groceries (including the massive amounts of meat that had to be bagged and organized in the freezer - worst job EVER) then go on our nighttime walk with Dad.   This took us right to 9:00 which is (sadly) his bedtime. 

For the new me, this was an AMAZINGLY productive day.  For the old me, this was a Tuesday morning before noon.  The old me is pointing and laughing at the way I did when, in college,  I saw a kid slip and fall down a flight of stairs, land on his feet and keep running screaming "I'M OK!!."  Part awe, part sympathy, a lot glad it wasn't me.  But this time, it IS me.  Joke's on you, old me.

Guys, I seriously have no idea how people do it.  And by "it" I mean . . . anything.  I consider my day a success if I put on mascara and do the dishes.  Don't anyone ever ask me how long it's been since I did a real chore like mopping or cleaning the shower.  My house is being held together by a thread called "Matt" and he's working his can off right now because his company has all sorts of craziness going on so he's stressed to the max and deserves a break.  Too bad he's not getting one anytime soon!

The three months of bliss we had with a baby who hardly made a noise and slept like a champ for a newborn are gone.  Baby discovered the art of whining and he's still sleeping like a newborn - a really strong, loud, newborn.  I did great with all of this until about two weeks ago when my body hit the Defcon 4 of sleep deprivation and I had myself a melt down.  Then another one.  Then the little angel decided naps were for sissies and slept a total of 1.5 hours spread out over three naps in the last three days.  And maybe last night I had another melt down because of it. I am just SO TIRED, but it's a weird tired because here I sit at 10:30 when I could be sleeping and there's not an ounce of sleepiness about me. I think my brain hates me.  Thank jeebus S was so tired tonight he crashed the second I swaddled him.  Please bless he sleeps a really, really, long time. Like . . . a month? 

I know there are methods to make him sleep but I just don't have the heart.  On top of that I decided on the Attachment Parenting school of thought a looooong time ago and most of the methods just don't fit into that.  So, Diet Coke is my friend and I try hard to nap when he does even if that means there are strange things growing in the fridge because it hasn't been cleaned out since 1997.

I'm sure that tomorrow the exertion of it all will catch up with me and S, the dog and I will spend the day in our underwear (for the dog that means no collar . . . the scandal!) on the couch eating peanut butter M&Ms and guzzling Diet Coke.  Laugh away, old me.  Laugh away.

Always Playing Catch Up

Ay ay ay.  It's a good thing I don't rely on blogging for income or anything else because it turns out I SUCK AT IT.  I don't suck at looking at Facebook and Instagram twenty times a day, I certainly don't suck at getting caught up on my DVR shows but I definitely suck at blogging.

So, here's my attempt to catch up.  Again.

S-baby is 16 weeks old.  I'm not sure how that happened because I swear I was pregnant for eight years and he was just born yesterday.  He is so fun.  Except yesterday and today. I think he's hit a four month growth spurt or something because he's cranky (for him) and wants to be held ALLTHETIME.  Also, the baby who took a bottle like a champ for the first two months causing his mother to assume that would always be the case apparently hadn't had one in too long and now has decided he hates them.  This happened on the first week that I have plans to actually go out and do something.  I'm going with a bunch of girlfriends to an early showing of Breaking Dawn Part 2 on Thursday night.   He needs to be able to take a bottle so I can go.  Ugh.  Now the contingency plan is to make sure he's really tired and really full before I have to leave and pray he goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps until I get home.  Ahem.  But seriously, he's fun, promise.  I really can't complain much that he won't take a bottle because he nurses like a champ, I have plenty of milk and have never had to buy formula!  I must make straight up cream too because he's SO chunky. I just want to eat his thighs.  He's also getting more interactive every day and has found his voice and loves to lay on his play mat and just yell at the top of his little lungs.  He's super smiley and super happy 99% of the time.  Sometimes  he'll be fussy because he WANTS me to put him down and leave him alone for a while.  He's a dream baby.  Love his guts.  

Life for me is...strange.  I am rarely aware of what day or what time it is (turns out I'm not a "schedule" mom) and I only force myself to get ready every other day or so.  I'm working hard on not becoming the wife who looks like crap all the time but getting ready just seems like so much WORK sometimes!  I mean, inevitably the baby wakes up the second I get in the shower causing me to either skip shaving or washing my hair.  Then, if by some miracle I get a full shower, he wakes up as soon as I'm out and there goes blow drying my hair.  Getting dressed...ugh.  I've lost all the baby weight plus some but most of my clothes still don't fit.  Riddle me this: Somehow I gained all my weight in my thighs and lost all my weight from my face.  So I LOOK really skinny if you don't look down.  Weird.  Besides, why would I want to wear jeans when velour pants are available, am I right?!  And make-up...I usually do some make-up but I haven't been able to get my eyebrows waxed in forever so I look like a yeti in mascara.  It's bad news all around.  I'm trying.  I swear I'm trying.

On another looks related note, I totally get why new moms often cut their hair.  Having my hair down means the baby either has a mouthful or a fistfull of hair.  No bueno.  I've taken to wearing it in a ballerina bun most of the time and I know Matt hates it.  He's saying I should cut my hair  little but every.single.time I cut my hair I regret it.  Plus it would still need to be pulled back unless I go super short and that ain't happening.  So, I think it will stay long in order to make pulling it up a little more attractive and simple.  Now if I could just get rid of the short hairs growing back in from losing my hair each time I miscarried and if I could keep my current hair from falling out by the handfull so I don't have them for the rest of my life, that would be nice.

Living on one income has definitely been an adjustment.  We have enough to pay our bills and all of that, but the "fun" money and savings are suffering quite a lot.  I'm learning how to price-match (so great, especially for produce) and doing a little bit of couponing to help save money.  It takes time but I've been able to do about one big trip to the grocery store a month to stock up on things we need then only have to go back for basics as needed.  I also found some great deals on chicken and beef so I stocked up and now our garage freezer has plenty of meat that will hopefully last several months.  I make dinner about 80% of the time but have no meal plan which I really need to get on because it would make my life that much easier. 

I don't plan on going back to work full time anytime soon but I have an interesting opportunity to work for a friend who runs a music theatre tracks company part-time that I am going to try out for a while.  This is the first job I've ever found that merges my Music Theatre education with my real-life work experience.  If things go well I could earn some great money only working a couple of hours a day so hopefully that pans out and the mister will sleep in long enough stretches that I can.  I'll let you know how it goes!

Now moving on to the dog.  I love my dog.  Love love love love love him.  But he is trouble.  Part of that's my fault because I gave up on hard core training when I got uncomfortable pregnant.  Another part of it is also my fault because I HAD to have pure-bred Frenchie and he HAD to be mostly white.  He's got allergies, folks.  Big time.  Did you know there are pet dermatologists?  Yeah, me neither.  There are.  And now we've been to one because our little buddy keeps getting a horrible rash on his underbell.  Watson is now on a PRESCRIPTION diet of rabbit and sweet potatoes. That's all he can eat for six weeks.  Watson also likes to steal anything that gets dropped on the floor and claim it as his FOR-EV-ER or give you hell for trying to get it back unles you offer him something more enticing.  Before that was cheese.  Now, it's nothing.  I don't blame him.  If I found an iPhone I wouldn't give it up for a stupid piece of sweet potato either!  We were in the process of training this out of him, but again, it required something to entice him which we no longer have.  SO, it's on hold until the diet is over in five weeks.  Of course this last week is also when babylicious started throwing his toys on the floor.  You see where I'm going with this.  I don't regret getting Watson, especially given my confidence level in the pregnancy working out but if any of you are pregnant and considering getting a dog...DON'T DO IT!!!  Wait until the baby is like, five.  Of course right as I type this Watson came up and snuggled up next to my leg and gave me a kiss.  He's so sweet.  I take it back.  Everyone should get a dog.

We decided to stay home for the holidays this year.  My Mom is probably coming for Thanksgiving and Matt's parents for Christmas so that should be fun.  I've actually got about half of the Christmas shopping done already which is nice considering the whole not-a-lot-of-cash-right-now situation.  Too bad I can't get everyone swaddle blankets from Babies R Us...we have a lot of credit there!

Thank you for still being here, bloggy friends.  I know I'm crappy at this but I want desperately to keep blogging because I do love it so.

So *That's* Why People Have Kids

I'm so behind.  In so many things.  Sleep.  Cleaning.  Church.  Friendships.  Showering.  All of it.  I think I naively thought I'd immediately be supermom and have my ish all together all the time.  Insert hysterical laughter HERE. 

Right now I am so so so so tired.  Today I had a rare day where I accomplished a lot of stuff. I walked the dog twice, went to Target, Costco and the Pharmacy, cleaned a little bit, made dinner and helped clean up after dinner.  I've been up since 5:30 (after being up at 2:00 and 4:00) and didn't get a nap so I should reaaallly go to bed but I'm so enamored with this little human I helped create that I can't sleep because I know I'll wake up tomorrow and he'll be a little older and never the same as he was today. 

There are so many moments I never ever want to forget, and I really wish I had time to sit down and blog about them more often.  Like tonight S fell asleep nursing but I had to wake him up to get him a clean, bed ready diaper and pajamas.  I always hate to wake him up but putting him to bed in a onsie and a wet diaper just doesn't sound like responsible parenting to me so I do it.  As usual he took a few minutes to wake up but when he did he was just so darn happy to be alive.  He sat on the changing pad while I let him air it out a bit and just cooed and gurgled and kicked his ohsofat little legs.  Once he was all ready for bed I went back to the rocking chair and we hung out for a while and talked.  He is making all these hilarious faces, usually trying to imitate mine.  He'll raise or furrow his eyebrows or stick out his tongue a few seconds after I do it.  He'll smile and screech then coo at how clever he was to be able to make such a loud noise.  Tonight he was especially animated, as if he was telling me a really good story.  I sat there just hoping he'd never get tired and we could just hang out all night.  But then he started to rub his eyes and wriggled and coerced his way, grunting all the while, into his new favorite sleeping position, the one only I have figured out - in the crook of my left arm with his face smooshed into the little space between my elbow and my side, his right arm hanging down and his left resting on my chest.  Once he's in position it takes him less than a minute to fall asleep but it takes me about half an hour to go put him down in his bassinet because I just don't.want.to.  Putting him to bed means that today is over and we'll never do exactly that again and it makes me SAD!


I'm not the first (or last) person to say this, but there are definitely times I miss working (and money!), and feeling smart, and socializing, and sleep, and being able to answer the phone and talk for hours, and leaving the house without a million things shoved in my gigantic diaper bag while I try to balance the carrier and lock the door all at the same time.   Between the baby and the puppy I am needed every.single.second of every.single.day.  It's the life I chose but it's exhausting (and I'm only 11 weeks in!!).  Everyone who says that having kids is hard and that you have to be prepared to put yourself second a lot of the time is absolutely right.  But they are also right that it's worth it because I can tell you that when that kid smiles at me I could not care less about myself or anything else in the whole wide world.  I made him in my body!  And he's perfect and he loves me most of all.

This motherhood thing?  Is amazing.

9 weeks old

Our Favorite Things: Six Weeks

Woah.  Sawyer is six weeks old already.  How did THAT happen?

I'm still working on both getting my regular blog fixed (could take forever, don't hold your breath) and finalizing Sawyer's blog - it's up and ready but I still need to tweak a couple of things.  If you want an invite, please leave me your email address so I can send you one if I haven't already.  I know a few of you said you wanted one but I don't have your email addresses!!

I'm also working on another blog that will have cleaning tips, recipes and other stuff I'm picking up on as a newly minted work at home Mom.  Again, nobody hold their breath because I'm lucky if I go to the bathroom lately, let alone do anything productive.

SO, that out of the way, I wanted to post some of my favorite and helpful baby things we've used during the first month and a half of this party.  FYI, nobody is paying me to say any of this and nobody sent me stuff to review.  All these things were either given to us as gifts or purchased by us for the baby.  I just thought it might be helpful to some of you and good for me to someday look back on and show Sawyer the ancient way of raising babies!

 

First, my most favorite baby thing EVER is this Graco Sweetpeace Swing.  I call it the BMW of baby swings.  It's amazing and I use it many times every day.  If it fed the baby for me I wouldn't have to do anything.  OK that's not really true but it's close.  I got it in the Vance design because I felt like it was the most neutral, but there are several different design options.  Regardless of the color, it does amazing things.  My favorite features:

• Swings back and forth or side to side depending on which way you face the chair.  I love this because he likes to swing different ways and sometimes I want to rotate him to face away from the window or whatever.
• Removeable chair that rocks and vibrates.  This is AWESOME because if Sawyer is sleeping and I want to shower, I just pop the chair out and take him with me.  This is also awesome if you have a Graco infant carrier (which we don't) because if the baby is in their carrier, you can just pop the chair out and pop that in and use it.  Amazing.
• MP3 Hookup with a surprisingly good speaker - plus there is a little drawer to store the iPod in.  There are also several options of white noise sounds and a selection of slow and fast baby music.  It's FANTASTIC.

 

Next, Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets. They have a two different types, the bamboo muslin and the cotton muslin.  My most favorite are the bamboo because they are SO SO SO soft, but they are more expensive and frankly, the cotton ones are almost as soft and just as awesome.  Plus they are far easier to find as most baby stores carry them whereas I've only seen the muslin on the Aden + Anais website, on Amazon and at Nordstrom.  I am of the opinion that one cannot have too many sets, especially in Phoenix.  Sawyer sleeps much better when he's swaddled but it's so stinking hot here normal blankets would make him a sweat bomb.  These are breathable and perfect for us.  Plus they have such cute designs and keep coming out with more.  I am dying to get the jewel toned set.  So fancy.  Aden + Anais also has awesome bath towels, sleep sacks, satin edged lovey blankets and burp cloth/bibs.  It's a fantastic company with great customer service.  One of my sets had a blanket with holes in it right out of the box and they sent me a whole new set without any hassle at all.  Winning!

 

Ah the Moby Wrap.  I use this all the time.  Sawyer loves to be held and while I love to hold him, I'm not so good at getting things done with only one hand, so he spends a lot of time in the Moby.  I am also a fan of attachment parenting and the recommendation to carry your baby with you as much as possible to help them feel "part" of your every day routine.  We also use the Moby to go on walks in the morning with the dog if I'm not feeling like hauling out the stroller.
This brings us to our stroller.  While I don't encourage anyone to go out and pay full price for one of these suckers, I sure do love our Bugaboo Cameleon.  I got it on Craig's List sooooo cheap (it had all the extras like infant carrier kit, a cup holder, toddler wheel board and diaper bag hooks plus the family threw in a Maxi Cosi Micco carrier and two car seat bases.  Sweet!).  I started looking during the first pregnancy and just kept my eye on listings until I found the cheapest one I'd seen, so I would recommend going that route.  This thing rules.  With a conversion kit it works with our Maxi Cosi carrier, you can adjust the handle to face the baby, the small wheels can be in front for easy navigation or the big wheels can for "off-road" situations...the list goes on and on.  I use the bassinet right now for our morning walks and Sawyer usually falls right to sleep.  It's a little tricky at first to figure out how to open and close it but once you get the hang of it, it's not hard at all.  I highly recommend it as long as you get it used.

 
I knew I wanted Sawyer to sleep in our bedroom for a while but I also knew we didn't have a big enough bed for him to be IN our bed and I definitely knew I didn't want to have to get out of bed to go get him a zillion times a night.  This is where our Arms Reach Co-Sleeper Mini comes in.  Once again, I kept my eye out and got it much cheaper on Craig's List.  I love that it also functions like a much smaller pack-n-play so we can take it on trips with us.  If you aren't familiar with these, it has a system that allows you to secure it to the side of your bed and then one of the sides slides down so the baby is easily accessible.  Now, there's still a lip so it's not like the co-sleeper mattress is exactly even with you (which is what I thought) but it's still so easy to reach over and grab him in the middle of the night and then slide him back in when he's done eating...if I don't fall asleep first.


For bath time, we use a Puj Tub.  Yet again, this was a Craig's List find.  I normally wouldn't buy a bath tub used but someone had twins and was given two of them and never even opened one, so it was brand new in the box, still sealed in plastic.  I love using it.  It's made out of really soft foam and it's easy to fold and fits in our bathroom sink.  It holds the perfect amount of water with drainage holes that work perfectly so that I can keep warm water running on Sawyer but not make a mess.  I love that I don't have to bend over the tub to bathe him, especially in those first weeks when my c-section was still tender.  I also love that it's BPA free and is made so that it won't get all yucky moldy.  Also, since it unfolds totally flat it's easy to store by hanging on the back of our bathroom door.  The only bummer is that it is only supposed to go to 17lbs which, at the rate Sawyer is growing, will last us another five minutes or so.

 

Finally, diapers.  I know every baby is different and every mom has a different opinion on diapers, but we have found that, at least for the newborn stage, Pampers Swaddlers are the bomb diggity.  The hospital had the Pampers so it was what we used first, but I had some Huggies newborn size at home so when we ran out of the hospital stash we tried those.  No bueno.  First, something about the way those diapers were shaped allowed Sawyer to pee straight out of the top of the diaper EVERY time.  Second, they weren't as absorbant at all.  I could go all night with one Pamper but had to change the Huggies two or three times.  The Pampers seem like they won't be as good because they are so thin but it's deceiving.  My favorite part is how they work with the super fun baby poo.  They have this mesh layer that sucks everything behind it and away from the baby's skin.  Love.  I also love that I am a member of Amazon Mom and with that plus Subscribe and Save I am able to get huge boxes of the Pampers for about $0.14 a diaper and two day delivery.  Turns out I don't like leaving my house anymore.  Weird.

There are so many other things I love but those are the main ones I wanted to share with you.  I'll try to do this every couple of months.  Let me know what things you love for babies!  I'm always up for trying new stuff!!

One Whole Month

Time flies when you're having fun.  And not sleeping much.  And hooked up to a newborn constantly.  And wrangling an unending stream of family.  And training a stubborn dog. 

Holycrap the last month has been nuts.  It's also been all kinds of awesome.


We had so much help in the way of family in town.  Both my parents, both Matt's parents and my Stepmother were here at different and sometimes overlapping times.  There were moments it was totally overwhelming to have that many people here but mostly it was just amazingly helpful to have people cooking or cleaning or just holding the baby when I needed a break. 

Watson was a bit traumatized by the combination of us leaving him overnight for the first time, the new baby coming home and taking our attention, a horrible rash/infection he's had that required steroids making him NUTS and then mostly the people coming and going.  He didn't want to miss a thing so he was a lot crazy for a couple of weeks there.  Things have calmed down now and he's better being back in his normal routine, but still on steroids so we're dealing with what my husband calls a "performance enhanced version of Watson."  We're also working much harder on training...specifically establishing who the boss is around here.  Watson is understandably upset to find out it's not him. 

On to the main event.  Sawyer is quite possibly the best baby ever.  I thought maybe it would wear off as he got bigger/older, but it hasn't.  He's radical.  While he does wake up about three times a night to eat, he never screams or cries for long periods of time or stays awake wanting to play.  He just kindly lets me know he'd like some boob, please, then latches on and eats until he falls asleep.  I've also been lucky that I can nurse lying down so I get to snooze while he does it so I don't feel too sleep deprived and thanks to the puppy and the pregnancy I'm already used to interrupted sleep so it's kind of already par for the course here and I feel pretty great most of the time.  I do better when I get a nap in the afternoon but I survive without it. 

Until two nights ago he hadn't had a single blow out, just some bad gas.  The other night I was bicycling his legs trying to help him get the bubbles out and we had our first blow out.  In the middle of my bed.  I was so tired I wiped it up best I could then covered it with a swaddling blanket and went back to sleep.  Three hours later, same thing happened, but this time on the side of the bed.  I no longer had the option of being lazy so I had to get up.  We went and snuggled up in the recliner.  Two hours later, same thing happened but this time all over his blanket and my legs.  I have now learned that if I'm going to help him with the bubbles, we need reinforcements under his back because with the gas comes the poop and it shoots up, not down. 

I feel almost 100% healed up from the delivery.  I still have weird pulling pains every once in a while on my uterus but overall no pain, no discomfort and I really feel like myself most of the time.  It's been a breezy, comfortable recovery for me and I feel very lucky to not be someone who has a really rough time after a c-section.  At least not this time. 

Nursing is going really well.  I have plenty of milk, Sawyer eats really well and my extra special nursing bonus is that I am losing tons of weight.  I prayed that I'd be one of those people that got super skinny while nursing and it seems (so far) that I got my wish.  I'm down to 15lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight.  Now, before you all gasp and tell me to stop, we need to remember that I gained a lovely 10-12lbs with each miscarriage and when I got pregnant with Sawyer I was the heaviest I've ever been.  This means I still have about 15lbs to go before I'm at what I consider my REAL pre-pregnancy weight which is still about 10lbs heavier than I was aiming for back when I was working out and eating healthy.  With some more luck I may end up right where I want to be.  Keeping it off once I stop nursing will be the hard part I'm sure. 

Motherhood so far is pretty fantastic but of course not without it's challenges.  My carpal tunnel seems to have decided to stick around and get even worse some days.  This means I'm struggling to nurse and do other things with completely numb hands and dysfunctional thumbs.  BOO.  Of course there are days when my hormones are all over the place.  I'm not depressed or anything, but if Matt isn't home right at the moment he said he would be, I can guarantee a melt down, even if the day has gone really well.  Other days I cry for no reason and a few times I get raging mad because my food is too hot or we're out of Diet Coke.  Fun times.  My house cleaning has obviously struggled but I'm trying to get back on schedule there.  I have tons of frozen meals so I haven't had to cook dinner yet but I'm working my way up to that.  We'll see how it goes.  I am already dreading the day when we have two kids because I have NO IDEA how anyone handles a newborn and an older child.  And I'll throw in a dog too.  If I didn't want to try for a girl so badly I would probably call it quits right now!

We got lucky with great friends and family who supplied us with everything we need and more to help out with the baby and I'm currently working on a post about my most favorite baby things so that I can share my WEALTH (sarcasm font) of knowledge.  As expected There are things that have been even greater than I expected them to be and things I've returned or have gone unused because I overestimated how much I would need them.  I'll try to include pictures and links and things so that any of you having babies soon can check out the stuff on your own.

I've also started another blog to talk about Sawyer specifics and will try to do at least a monthly, but hopefully weekly post.  It's going to be private so I can post pictures and names and all that stuff.  If you'd like to read it I'm happy to send you an invite as long as you can prove to me you're not a creeper.  Ha!  Just leave me a comment that you'd like an invite and when I actually have it up and running I'll make sure you can come see. 

Walking Kateastrophe is still broken.  Sigh.  I'm trying to figure out how to fix it but I need help and help is busy right now so it might be a while.  We'll see how long it really takes!

Baby just fell over in his swing and is pretty traumatized by the whole thing so I'm off to save him. 

Sawyer's Birth Story

Though not as exciting as many people's birth stories, I figured it was a good idea to document the day Sawyer was born before my brain turns to permanent mush and I forget.  So here we go...

At my 38 week appointment we'd determined that I was carrying a BIG baby and that we'd need to consider a c-section if I hadn't gone into labor on my own or if I wasn't dilating.  So on Monday July 16th I took my big belly to the doctor's office with my Mom who'd just come to town.  As luck would have it, none of the home remedies we'd tried (at this point we'd tried evening primrose oil and spicy food) had worked.  I was still 1/2cm dilated and 60% effaced as I had been for over two weeks.  Then when the doctor measured my belly, I was measuring at 42 weeks, three weeks ahead of where I actually was.  This pretty much convinced the doctor we needed to schedule a c-section.  She went out to call the hospital and find out when they had openings.  There was one later that afternoon which I would have LOVED to have taken except that I'd had a string cheese that morning and was therefore disqualified (boo breakfast!) and the next available times were either Thursday the 19th at 1:30 or Friday the 20th at 7:30.  My doctor highly recommended the Friday morning since I wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight the night before and my going more than 13 hours without food when 10 months pregnant wasn't anyone's favorite idea.  Friday at 7:30 it was.

We talked about all the details of the surgery and then what we'd do if I went into labor on my own.  She said she was fine with my trying to deliver naturally if that happened but that I should mentally prepare myself for the high likelihood of a c-section no matter what happened.

I spent the entire week trying to make that baby come on his own.  I tried walking and walking and walking. I tried caster oil.  First it was a tablespoon in a Diet Coke. Then two.  Finally on Wednesday night I tried what has worked for one of my friends three times in a row with labor starting within two hours and the baby coming out within about ten...6-8 oz orange juice, 1/4tsp baking soda and 2oz caster oil.  She had explained the process this way (and I quote because it's pretty awesome):

"So you'll drink this crap, which is the worst tasting thing in the history of things.  Then two hours later you will poop out all your organs.  All of them.   Then about a half an hour later labor will start and just when you think you can't be in more pain, you'll throw up your bones and your body will be made of nothing.  Then, shortly after that, that baby will come shooting out your butt."

I laughed for about ten minutes straight and then set off preparing the concoction.  I drank it as fast as I could and noted that it wasn't the worst drink EVER, just really oily orange juice.  Then I sat as close to a toilet as I comfortably could and waited.  Then I waited some more.  Then I gave up and went to bed, bags packed and ready to go to the hospital at a moments notice.

Eight hours later I pooped out all my organs and then felt better and ate breakfast.  End of caster oil story.  No baby.  Not even one contraction.  I was irritated but at the same time I figured at least my entire digestive system was squeaky clean! 

Thursday night I re-packed my bags and snuggled my sweet puppy for one last time before his life got rocked.  Then I curled my hair.  I figured if I wasn't going to get to have this baby my way, at least I'd look good in the pictures.  Then I went to bed and slept pretty well, all things considered.  We woke up at 4am the next morning and I put on my favorite make-up and then we dropped the puppy off with our neighbor and headed to the hospital.

When we got there it was kind of strange to check in while not in labor.  We moseyed into admitting, went to our room, met our nurse and then waited for things to get rolling.  We took the final pictures of me pregnant:

Then Matt and I changed into our super sexy surgery garb:

My doctor was a few minutes late because her car battery was dead, so at about 7:45 they wheeled me in to the room.  They had Matt wait outside while they prepped me, which included getting my spinal in place, getting me in a catheter (yay!) and putting up a sheet so I wasn't totally wigged out at what was about to happen. 

Matt came in and got the camera rolling and they got started.  It took all of ten minutes for my doctor to cut me open.  I heard some ruckus as she announced he had a VERY round head and she was going to need to use a little vacuum pump thingy to get him out because of that.  The anesthesiologist (who I loved) told me that the baby hadn't dropped into my pelvis at all and that he looked huge so I was going to be grateful we'd decided to go with a c-section.  A few seconds later I heard a bunch of "woah he's huge!" and "wow!" and "Eight Ten!" to which I exclaimed "He's only 8lbs 10oz??" The nurse laughed at me and said "No, he's bigger than that!  He was born at 8:10."  Oh.  Right.

Someone brought him over to my side of curtain so I could see him for a second and then they whisked him off to the baby station to make sure he was OK, weigh him and do all of that.  Matt went with them while I got stitched up and tried to catch glimpses of my screaming baby boy.  It was a bit surreal for me because I hadn't been able to hold or touch him yet, so I caught a glimpse of this gorgeous little thing and then had to wait to really get a good look.  I was overcome with emotions, mostly feeling grateful that my body had finally been able to do it's reproductive job and get our little guy here. 

I squirted a few tears which the anesthesiologist kindly wiped for me, and then a few minutes later everything was done and we were being wheeled back to my recovery room.  Matt handed him off to my Mom while the nurses checked me to make sure everything was good and then I finally got to hold my son.  I decided that he is pretty much perfect. 

The nurse suggested we try nursing right away (luckily his insulin levels were great when he was born so they didn't have to supplement with formula or anything while they waited for me to get stitched up) and he latched right on and nursed for an hour without stopping.

After that they transferred me to my permanent room where we got to know our nurse and got working on getting to know each other and recovering and blah blah blah. 

Thankfully, my recovery has been super easy.  The pain has been totally manageable with mostly Ibuprofin and Tylenol (the first two days in the hospital I was on something stronger they gave to me via IV but I never had enough pain to have to ask for anything extra), and I was on a soft food diet (which is all normal food...I guess I didn't check to see what was on the regular diet I couldn't eat, but really my options were awesome) by the end of the day and up walking (escorted) to the bathroom that night.  The next morning all the tubes and crap were removed and I was good to move around on my own.  Sunday morning the OB/GYN on call checked and discharged me and we were home by 1:30 and have been loving life ever since. 

I seriously have no complaints about the c-section and, considering my easy recovery, I have a feeling that it was easier than a natural birth would have been.  I am walking great, have minimal bleeding, very little pain at my incisions - there is a little up where the doctor cut my uterus inside but I think it's trying to shrink down and that's aggravating the scar.  I've definitely been tired, but our kick-butt baby has been letting me sleep more than I was sleeping while I was pregnant, so I feel really rested.

Matt took the week off work and has been AWESOME.  He's changed a majority of the diapers and been working on training the dog (turns out we didn't do enough of that and there's been some small issues with him listening to us when we need him to.  Ouuuurrr baaaadddd) and just being an all around rock star Dad. 

My Mom and Dad have both been here as were Matt's parents so we've had tons and tons of help around but weirdly we haven't really needed it.  I guess I hear so many new baby horror stories I keep waiting for hours of screaming and misery and nobody sleeping and so far it's just not happening.  I guess I'll keep my fingers crossed that this keeps up and we don't end up with hell next week!

I still don't understand why we had to go through what we did to get him here but I can say that he was worth every second of pain and heartbreak.  

Welcome to the world, Sawyer.  We are so glad you're here.

And Then I Had a Baby

It's hard to believe that after the two years of hell trying to get him here, we have a real, live, grown in my body baby living at our house.

Wow.

Sawyer Michael was born Friday, July 20 at 8:10am. He was 9lbs 4oz, 20.5 inches and he is absolutely fabulous.  See?!

Picture Credit: Sorensen Studios

He has gold-red hair and it's looking like his eyes will be blue, but that is still to be determined.  He has HUGE hands and feet and other than the super fun newborn rash that has plagued us since day one, he's pretty much perfect.  I'm whispering this next part so I don't jinx us, but when I say perfect, I mean it in every sense.   This kid sleeps and eats like a CHAMP, usually going at least three, usually four or five hours between feedings at night.  He latched on the first time in less than 30 seconds, which my nurse said she's never seen before.  We had to correct the latch so that his amazing suction abilities (another first - our pediatrician said in 14 years she's never seen such a strong suck from a baby) didn't pull my nipples completely off my body but now that's fixed and other than some minor discomfort, nursing is a breeze.  He definitely goes to the bathroom like a newborn, going through what seems like a million diapers a day and he seems to have an uncanny ability to pee out of the top of his diaper, which I think is related to the vaseline covered gauze we have to put on his man parts thanks to the circumcision (PS - who ever thought THAT was a good idea?  "Guys!  I have an idea!  We'll take the top tiny bit of skin off the most sensitive part of the baby and we'll CUT IT OFF!!!  Brilliant!"  Not.)  but *knock on wood* we've yet to have a blow-out.  I could go on and on but I've been around my fair share of newborns and he is literally the best one I've seen.  I swear I'm not just saying that because he's my kid.  I'll be the first to admit that he spent his first week looking a lot like a very tiny angry old man.  I'm not above admitting he looked totally weird for a while there.  Now that the swelling is going down, his rash is going away and he is actually opening his eyes he's looking pretty darn cute.  I was scared for a minute there. 

I'm working on his birth story, though it's not as involved or as interesting as many are, but I figure I might as well document it anyway.  I'll try to find the time to get it out there really soon, which in my new timeline means maybe by December?

Thanks to those of you who have already reached out with well wishes and congratulations.  I am so grateful to have had all of you with me on this journey.  It has really been a rough couple of years for us, and although the pain of the miscarriages may never go away, having this little man here does make so many things make sense.  We are so lucky to have him.

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OH, as an FYI to those of you who care, I just discovered that my other blog is broken.  I can't get into the admin page to publish anything.  I don't even remember how to get into my host files...oops.  My best friend's husband is my host so I need to get a hold of him to get in but after that, I'm worried because I seem to have forgotten all the things I taught myself about HTML and running a real blog so I'm not feeling hopeful that I'll be able to get in soon, but I'll sure try!!

The Plan, Stanley

I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow and I woke up last night thinking that maybe my water broke.  Turns out I probably peed my pants just a little and the primrose oil I've been, um, putting there to help me dilate probably just leaked.  It was disappointing and disgusting all at the same time. 

My doctor ordered an extra ultrasound for me at my weekly checkup this week.  The first words out of her mouth after she saw the results were "you have a big old baby in there, woman!"  Monster Baby has continued to grow and turned into Super Monster Baby.  He was measuring at 8lbs 9oz and in the 89th percentile for growth, which are both higher numbers than were estimated at the last ultrasound.  His head is still up in the 90th percentile somewhere as well.  Um, yikes.  Even more interesting is that he seems to be sucking the life out of me.  Since my last appointment I've lost three pounds and he has continued to gain size at an uncanny rate.  Fan freaking tastic, right!?  Oh and even more fun, I've made no progress at all.  1/2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, just like the last appointment.

Normally, ultrasounds can be a pound or so off, and are usually estimating high, but knowing Matt's family history of large babies and emergency c-sections, my doctor decided that if I show up to my next appointment on Monday morning and I'm not making any progress, she will probably schedule a c-section.  If I'm dilated to at least a 1 1/2 she'll schedule an induction.  Obviously a c-section isn't ideal, so I'm doing everything I can think of on my end to encourage some dilation and softening up in here.  Thus the primrose oil.  I'm really hoping to get some dilation happening so we can go for the induction rather than a c-section.  Now, in an ideal world this baby would just come on it's own.  I'm not a huge fan of inducing and I doubt anyone is a huge fan of a c-section, but I'm especially not fond of being in labor for a whole day and THEN having to do a c-section.  I think in that case you basically put your body through 90% of natural birth and the side effects of that and then you have to also recover from major surgery.  So, hopefully I go into labor today or tomorrow and avoid both situations, but I have a feeling I'll be in my appointment on Monday where we'll be making a plan and most likely this kid will be born Tuesday or Wednesday.

SO, this weekend I'll be doing last minute things like installing the car seat and getting the co-sleeper set up in our bedroom as well as hopefully doing some cleaning.  I also have to figure out a plan for the puppy since our existing plan is on vacation in California until Wednesday.  Luckily there are plenty of people around who love Watson and have offered to help out. 

Hopefully I'll be back here Monday with a final update as to when our lives get turned upside down!  I'm excited to meet this little boy but I'm also nervous and I think in a little bit of denial that it's actually happening.  Hold me?